Laura LaRocque

Driving to the Fear

Today I drove the car!!

Congratulations? Who cares? Good job? You’re probably not really sure how to react to that statement.

Driving a car isn’t really that big of an accomplishment. Especially for a 30 year old woman who’s been driving vehicles since as long as she can remember.

So I guess maybe the fact that I finally got behind the wheel isn’t the exciting part, but more so the realization that I took a big ugly story that I allowed to grow in my mind, and shot it down. Dead. That’s the end of that.

driving

Have you ever had a small fear around doing something? And by putting it off every time you allowed that fear to grow bigger and bigger in your mind?

I have, a lot.

And this time surprised me.

Let me explain.

Since Michael and I have returned back from England about 3 months ago, I’ve been super excited to drive again. We didn’t have a vehicle there for 2 years and if we ever rented a car, which was very rare, he drove because I liked looking around.

I was excited to get back behind the wheel in Canada when we were in my comfort zones; the highways I knew and the small towns we were visiting.

When we came out to Vancouver to look for a place to call home last month. I let Michael drive. I didn’t really consider the fact I was scared driving through the mountains, or once we arrived in Vancouver the busy-ness and all the hills, plus driving a standard on top of not knowing where I was going.

I just let him do it. No point in me driving – even though I love it. Besides I’m pregnant. He’s doing a good job. I’ll just enjoy the view and nap when I want. All legitimate excuses right?

Fast forward to us now moved and settled in and the fact that every time Michael asks me if I want to drive my heart pumps and my hands get clammy and I say “No, I enjoy just looking around.”

You know what the one small annoyance around working on bettering yourself all the time is? When you know this story you created is wrong and you hold the power to shift it, but yet you continue to roll with it. And turn something so little, into a problem in your life.

So I got real with myself. I built up in my mind that driving here was scary. I’ll just let Michael drive everywhere we go. No big deal.

Right. Until he’s not home and I have to drive somewhere by myself.

I bet you’re thinking this is ridiculous.

And you’re right! It is.

But we all tend to do it somewhere, somehow in our lives.

I flashed forward in my mind. I’m a professional woman who is making new contacts. I am independent and I’ll eventually need to get around on my own in this new city. I used to love driving. What am I doing?

So I woke up and I told Michael, I’m driving today.

And that’s all.

I drove.

It was fun.

I enjoyed it.

We got where we needed to go.

I didn’t roll back into anyone stopped on a hill.

I haven’t had sweaty palms or a racing heart around the idea of driving since.

My mind now has room to think about more exciting and creative things.

And I share because I know you’re putting off something in your life right now because you’re scared. You told yourself a story around it and now you believe it.

Go face it. It’s not going to be that hard. Then you can look back like I am and laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was.

- Laura

 

Scoping out our new hood

Laura Vancouver

3 years ago we thought Vancouver was too far away to live in, let alone visit (and visiting Europe was completely out of the question.)

But then, we basically hit rock bottom in our relationship. We had the beautiful wedding, careers and we were planning to start a family - but something was missing. We blamed each other for our own unhappiness, partied and drank often and then blamed each other again.

When we decided we must not be a good match for each other (after more than 9 years together) and decided to part ways.... we gave up the expectations of the other person making us each happy, we started to prep ourselves for single life.

We started focusing on creating our own inner happiness and stopped relying on receiving outer acceptance.

And then something magical happened (sounds corny) but we totally fell back in love with each other.

We remembered why we were attracted to each other in the first place, before we conformed to what we thought what expected of us.

And then we said f*ck it, why are we putting off what lights us up, what scares us.... putting off experiencing and exploring the world now?

So we made a decision. We didn't just go VISIT Europe. We put everything we owned in storage, did everything that almost 30yr olds aren't "supposed" to do and MOVED to England for 2 years.

We set up a new life, we toured through Europe. Then we came back to Canada and skipped the comfort zone of our home city and continued our journey to Vancouver to start new. To explore and to grow.

Has the last few years been all roses and butterflies? Of course not, but it was worth it.

Do we tell you this to impress you? Of course not.

Our only hope is to spark something within you, to stop putting off your dreams for "someday" in the future. Or waiting until your relationship has failed before you decide to take charge of your own happiness.

Life doesn't have to be about pain and struggle, you're allowed to follow your heart and have fun along the way.

- Laura

 

How My Life has Changed in 3 years…. And Yours Can Too!

Laura LaRocque

Take 2 seconds right now and think about where you were 3 years ago. Where did you live, where did you work? Were you in a relationship? How did you feel? Who did you hang out with? What were your hobbies?

3 years ago I was sad, lost, frustrated, disappointed. I felt like a failure and had no idea how I let myself get so down in life. I was 27 years old, chose to walk away from my massage therapy business that I had built up over 7 years, was preparing to leave my husband after only 3 years of marriage. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next career wise. I didn’t have any hobbies and I cared too much about what other people thought of me. I knew I wanted a family, but I knew that I didn’t want to bring a baby into my current state of unhappiness and unstable relationship.

At that point my husband Mike and I had been together for 9 years – basically high school sweethearts who got married and followed what we thought was right. We had gone to school, got married, had our careers, and we were planning to start a family one-day. But somewhere in there we lost who we were, why we were doing it and basically fell out of love.

We weren’t fulfilled, we lived for the weekend and we partied a lot. And one day I woke up and realized I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I stopped going out, I tried to control and change Mike, I cried myself to sleep when he would still go out, and I beat myself up over allowing my life to reach this point.

I daydreamed about the future that I wanted – the white picket fence, the beautiful babies and the marriage and relationship where we were best of friends. But in my current reality, that was a far off dream. I finally decided I had suffered enough and made a decision that something had to change, and it had to start with me. I didn’t know where to begin on making changes so I sought out my first coach and started focusing on the one thing I could change in my life – ME.

So why am I sharing this with you? Because I know you can relate in some way. If you’re anything like me, there have been times in your life when you’re not satisfied, when things aren’t going the way you imagined and you feel like you’re failing at life.

Now fast forward 3 years to present time, Mike and I are driving back to Alberta after spending a week in Vancouver in search of a place to call home for the next year. We’re discussing how just 3 years ago, this journey wasn’t even a possibility in our minds. It was the experiences that happen only to people in the movies.

But over the past 3 years, we have quit our careers, packed up everything we owned, put it in storage, and moved to London England with only a few suitcases and accommodations booked for a week. We traveled through 10 European countries, we supported ourselves financially along the way, and now 2 years later we are back in Canada, with a renewed idea of what our future looks like.

We have spent many hours exploring new territory, exploring ourselves, setting new foundations for our relationship, our marriage, our future family and what our new “normal” looks like.

Now when we think about 3 years into the future, we can’t help but smile because we know first hand, that as long as we keep pushing forward, the possibilities are beyond what we are even capable of imagining right now.

And that’s why I am sharing this with you. Because I want you to know that wherever you are in your life, you don’t have to stay there if you don’t want to. We don’t have special super powers we just made a choice. And you have a choice too. Great things don’t only happen to people in the movies, they CAN and WILL happen for you too. You just have to start somewhere.

- Laura