fear

Driving to the Fear

Today I drove the car!!

Congratulations? Who cares? Good job? You’re probably not really sure how to react to that statement.

Driving a car isn’t really that big of an accomplishment. Especially for a 30 year old woman who’s been driving vehicles since as long as she can remember.

So I guess maybe the fact that I finally got behind the wheel isn’t the exciting part, but more so the realization that I took a big ugly story that I allowed to grow in my mind, and shot it down. Dead. That’s the end of that.

driving

Have you ever had a small fear around doing something? And by putting it off every time you allowed that fear to grow bigger and bigger in your mind?

I have, a lot.

And this time surprised me.

Let me explain.

Since Michael and I have returned back from England about 3 months ago, I’ve been super excited to drive again. We didn’t have a vehicle there for 2 years and if we ever rented a car, which was very rare, he drove because I liked looking around.

I was excited to get back behind the wheel in Canada when we were in my comfort zones; the highways I knew and the small towns we were visiting.

When we came out to Vancouver to look for a place to call home last month. I let Michael drive. I didn’t really consider the fact I was scared driving through the mountains, or once we arrived in Vancouver the busy-ness and all the hills, plus driving a standard on top of not knowing where I was going.

I just let him do it. No point in me driving – even though I love it. Besides I’m pregnant. He’s doing a good job. I’ll just enjoy the view and nap when I want. All legitimate excuses right?

Fast forward to us now moved and settled in and the fact that every time Michael asks me if I want to drive my heart pumps and my hands get clammy and I say “No, I enjoy just looking around.”

You know what the one small annoyance around working on bettering yourself all the time is? When you know this story you created is wrong and you hold the power to shift it, but yet you continue to roll with it. And turn something so little, into a problem in your life.

So I got real with myself. I built up in my mind that driving here was scary. I’ll just let Michael drive everywhere we go. No big deal.

Right. Until he’s not home and I have to drive somewhere by myself.

I bet you’re thinking this is ridiculous.

And you’re right! It is.

But we all tend to do it somewhere, somehow in our lives.

I flashed forward in my mind. I’m a professional woman who is making new contacts. I am independent and I’ll eventually need to get around on my own in this new city. I used to love driving. What am I doing?

So I woke up and I told Michael, I’m driving today.

And that’s all.

I drove.

It was fun.

I enjoyed it.

We got where we needed to go.

I didn’t roll back into anyone stopped on a hill.

I haven’t had sweaty palms or a racing heart around the idea of driving since.

My mind now has room to think about more exciting and creative things.

And I share because I know you’re putting off something in your life right now because you’re scared. You told yourself a story around it and now you believe it.

Go face it. It’s not going to be that hard. Then you can look back like I am and laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was.

- Laura

 

Facing your fears

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about change and the fears that come up when faced with any sort of change. What does it take to face our fears head on? To stop allowing them to win, keeping us stuck in the same unfulfilling job, unsatisfying relationship, and stopping us from living a life we dream of?

I’ve learned that if I want to live a different kind of life, then I must step out of my comfort zone, I must face my fears head on. This usually brings on A LOT of resistance within myself, and I find that I look for any excuse to stay the same, to stay safe – even though it doesn’t make me happy. I’ve learned that this fear never goes away, and if I waited for it to go, things would never change.

You see our ego likes to keep us safe. It’s not that our ego wants us to live a boring life – it just wants us safe. And to some people, working the same unhappy job is safe. Staying in the same unhappy relationship for years or doing the same boring routines day in and day out may not be fulfilling, but it’s safe. And before we know it, years have passed us by and we’re safe…… but are we happy?

comfort zone

The only way to move forward and chase your dreams is to get started somewhere. Anywhere. It’s not going to be perfect. But guess what, perfect doesn’t exist, and all it does is holds you back from moving forward, from making change. What are you putting off starting today because you’re worried about how you may look, what others might think? What if I told you that those people are so consumed in their own lives, that they don’t actually care. You have something great within you and it’s waiting for you to recognize it. Start it now, do it now!

- Laura

2 choices - Love or Fear

love

4 years ago I decided to get the word “Love” tattooed on my forearm. And of course I then got the question many times as to why I would get that tattoo and why so visible and big on my forearm. 

I had been about a year into doing lots of reading and learning on conscious thought and how the thoughts I think determined my actions and my reality. At the time I realized that I needed all the help I could get so I decided why not have the message front and center. And I’ve never regretted it since.

In my life, I feel like I always have 2 options to choose from at any given moment, those being LOVE or the alternative FEAR. I realized that everything I did in life could come from either of those, and at that time of my life most of my thoughts, decisions and actions were coming from a place of fear.  And I knew that whichever one I chose to feed, would be the one to have the biggest impact on my life.

I decided I could always choose love in any situation. I could choose love in how I treated my body, through choosing to move and exercise and fuel my body with healthy nourishing food and clean water. Through spending time in nature, doing things for myself that make me feel loved. Through choosing to spend time with people who uplifted me and loved me for who I am.

I knew I could also choose love when portraying myself in the world, through the ways I chose to be present when around others and truly listen. Through choosing to smile at strangers, doing random acts of kindness and giving compliments.

Facing my fears and uncomfortable experiences also became easier when I decided to choose love. Focusing on doing my best and bringing my best intention with me helped me feel more confident and comfortable in my decisions.

How many times have I failed and reacted with or chose fear instead of Love? Even with a big reminder on my forearm? MANY TIMES. Like too many times to count. I don’t believe that fear ever goes away, nor do I think it should. Fear is around to keep me safe, to let me know that I am no longer in my comfort zone, which is where growth and all the good stuff happens.

Part of choosing love, I believe, is being gentle and forgiving, especially to myself in the times when I didn’t choose to respond and act out of love. I am only human and can do better as I know better. And life's a journey of ebbs and flows. Good times and bad times and mediocre times. Love to me is learning to enjoy and be ok with decisions that I’ve made in each of those times.

What areas in your life are you choosing love? Where do you want to choose love more often?  And most importantly remember to be gentle and easy on yourself, for we’re all learning to love a little more everyday. 

- Laura