Driving to the Fear

Today I drove the car!!

Congratulations? Who cares? Good job? You’re probably not really sure how to react to that statement.

Driving a car isn’t really that big of an accomplishment. Especially for a 30 year old woman who’s been driving vehicles since as long as she can remember.

So I guess maybe the fact that I finally got behind the wheel isn’t the exciting part, but more so the realization that I took a big ugly story that I allowed to grow in my mind, and shot it down. Dead. That’s the end of that.

driving

Have you ever had a small fear around doing something? And by putting it off every time you allowed that fear to grow bigger and bigger in your mind?

I have, a lot.

And this time surprised me.

Let me explain.

Since Michael and I have returned back from England about 3 months ago, I’ve been super excited to drive again. We didn’t have a vehicle there for 2 years and if we ever rented a car, which was very rare, he drove because I liked looking around.

I was excited to get back behind the wheel in Canada when we were in my comfort zones; the highways I knew and the small towns we were visiting.

When we came out to Vancouver to look for a place to call home last month. I let Michael drive. I didn’t really consider the fact I was scared driving through the mountains, or once we arrived in Vancouver the busy-ness and all the hills, plus driving a standard on top of not knowing where I was going.

I just let him do it. No point in me driving – even though I love it. Besides I’m pregnant. He’s doing a good job. I’ll just enjoy the view and nap when I want. All legitimate excuses right?

Fast forward to us now moved and settled in and the fact that every time Michael asks me if I want to drive my heart pumps and my hands get clammy and I say “No, I enjoy just looking around.”

You know what the one small annoyance around working on bettering yourself all the time is? When you know this story you created is wrong and you hold the power to shift it, but yet you continue to roll with it. And turn something so little, into a problem in your life.

So I got real with myself. I built up in my mind that driving here was scary. I’ll just let Michael drive everywhere we go. No big deal.

Right. Until he’s not home and I have to drive somewhere by myself.

I bet you’re thinking this is ridiculous.

And you’re right! It is.

But we all tend to do it somewhere, somehow in our lives.

I flashed forward in my mind. I’m a professional woman who is making new contacts. I am independent and I’ll eventually need to get around on my own in this new city. I used to love driving. What am I doing?

So I woke up and I told Michael, I’m driving today.

And that’s all.

I drove.

It was fun.

I enjoyed it.

We got where we needed to go.

I didn’t roll back into anyone stopped on a hill.

I haven’t had sweaty palms or a racing heart around the idea of driving since.

My mind now has room to think about more exciting and creative things.

And I share because I know you’re putting off something in your life right now because you’re scared. You told yourself a story around it and now you believe it.

Go face it. It’s not going to be that hard. Then you can look back like I am and laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was.

- Laura

 

Scoping out our new hood

Laura Vancouver

3 years ago we thought Vancouver was too far away to live in, let alone visit (and visiting Europe was completely out of the question.)

But then, we basically hit rock bottom in our relationship. We had the beautiful wedding, careers and we were planning to start a family - but something was missing. We blamed each other for our own unhappiness, partied and drank often and then blamed each other again.

When we decided we must not be a good match for each other (after more than 9 years together) and decided to part ways.... we gave up the expectations of the other person making us each happy, we started to prep ourselves for single life.

We started focusing on creating our own inner happiness and stopped relying on receiving outer acceptance.

And then something magical happened (sounds corny) but we totally fell back in love with each other.

We remembered why we were attracted to each other in the first place, before we conformed to what we thought what expected of us.

And then we said f*ck it, why are we putting off what lights us up, what scares us.... putting off experiencing and exploring the world now?

So we made a decision. We didn't just go VISIT Europe. We put everything we owned in storage, did everything that almost 30yr olds aren't "supposed" to do and MOVED to England for 2 years.

We set up a new life, we toured through Europe. Then we came back to Canada and skipped the comfort zone of our home city and continued our journey to Vancouver to start new. To explore and to grow.

Has the last few years been all roses and butterflies? Of course not, but it was worth it.

Do we tell you this to impress you? Of course not.

Our only hope is to spark something within you, to stop putting off your dreams for "someday" in the future. Or waiting until your relationship has failed before you decide to take charge of your own happiness.

Life doesn't have to be about pain and struggle, you're allowed to follow your heart and have fun along the way.

- Laura

 

Do you choose Love or Fear?

I used to fear not being successful or not having enough money or toys. Not living up to my friends or family expectations. Needing to keep up with the Jones'.

Now I fear not living up to MY own expectations or what I know is possible for myself. It really does scare me to think I can not become what I visualize daily or what I talk about with my daily and nightly affirmations. I fear not being the father or husband that I know I'm capable of being.

With so many different ideas and expectations about how we should live our lives from outside sources, it's hard to hear and trust our inner voice. I say this a lot now a days "that inner voice is the only one that goes to bed with me every night" I might sleep beside my wife but that inner voice is the one talking while I fall asleep.

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It's up to us whether we are having celebrations or a fight with that inner voice each night, it's easy to do what people or society expect us to do. What's hard is listening to our selves and our inner voice. Really doing what makes us happy or proud.

I'm not some weak in the knees kid or a person with no life experience. You name it, I've been there. With this experience I now know that you have to be true to yourself no matter what!! Easy to say, hard to do.

With new tools and a new mind set I've been able to help keep the outside forces at bay. Not to say that they don't sneak in from time to time, it's all a matter of learning how to handle situations.

Whether it be affirmations, gratitude, setting goals, working out, writing, reading, getting out of my comfort zone by trying new things or doing things that I know scare me. These tools have become invaluable to my personal success and continued work in my relationship.

Fear has become something that I know is there but can't make decisions based around it or nothing will get done. No fun story, adventure or positive life changes ever came from making a decision based from fear.

When faced with a decision you can choose Love or Fear - always choose love! There's such a huge world out there for us, with endless possibilities. Don't let fear block those for you.

-Michael